A Lot of Ethiopia Crammed in One Post

 I posted this picture on Facebook of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, when I first landed. People commented that they had not idea that it looked that way. Well, it does, and yet it doesn't. This is the view from a friend of a friend's home; she lives in probably the top 1% of Ethiopia. In fact, the grass looking down is the Chinese embassy. Behind it is the Burkina Faso embassy. Walking in the neighborhood, I passed the Indian embassy residence. Everyone here has guards, etc, and most are foreign inhabitants of the country.

I have had the privilege of spending time in the average Ethiopian's home also. These homes are in Adama, a few hours outside of Addis Ababa, where the cost of living is more affordable. The average Ethiopian in Adama lives behind a compound gate such as below. A wealthy person would have their own compound, but the average lives behind it in one of about six to ten rental houses. There is almost no home ownership among the middle class, since there are no mortgages; you must be able to build debt free.

 We went and visited where Brooke lived with her mother before she passed away. She lived in the home with the dark green door. They are made of either mud or concrete and usually have two rooms. There is generally a living room and a bedroom. The cooking is done outside. They often have electricity, but not plumbing. I have not figured out where the bathroom is for this compound, but I fear it is one less than desirable squatty potty for the whole compound. 

Ethiopians are very welcoming people. We were invited in by Brooke's former neighbors for tea. Something I can't figure out is that my first three trips to Ethiopia, we had coffee everywhere we went. This trip was tea every time. I don't know why the change, but I loved the tea! I did not take pictures at the tea time but they also invited us to stay for injera (dinner). We kindly declined dinner and told them just tea, because we wanted a few hours to play with the kids back at the orphanage before dark. We talked with the translator between us and the man of the family at one point looked so confused and said, "why no injera, why?" like he could figure out how we could turn down such an offer.

I don't know who may remember Hanna, but she is a little girl that has been in Brooke's orphanage as long as I have been visiting. I inquired about adopting her four years ago. This time I found out that she had been returned to live with her mother, with financial help via Unicef. I won't get into all the Unicef debate but I am not a fan! The orphanage offered to take us to see her and we rolled right up to her compound. It was first thing in the morning and she was still asleep. I was unable to meet her mother, since she was working, but it was so good to see Hanna. She is 10 now.

Hanna, Me, Aunt Deb and Brooke

We were invited in for tea by Hanna's neighbor in the same compound.

The two little girls on the right were the lady's daughters and the girl in the red shirt was a neighbor. Hanna was seated on the couch with us and served tea since she was the visited guest, but the other children knew to take a seat on the mat on the floor and not request tea. On a funny note, Hanna tried to decline the tea, but was informed in Amharic that she would be having some with us and politely drank the tea.

I have so much more, but I will end here for today.

Have too much to say

Today was very full and tomorrow promises to be even fuller. I will just tell about the big event of the day, which was Brooke's dental visit. She had an extra eye tooth which needed to be removed. We were told that an appointment was unnecessary. When we arrived at the very small, but nice, hospital, there was a full waiting room. We paid $2 for a dental exam and there was no paperwork to be filled out. We barely sat down and were called back. I do not know if our lack of a wait was due to foreign privilege or we really were the only dental patients in the waiting room. Back in the room, the dentist spoke excellent English, which seems like such a treat when you become accustomed to having everything translated and are often concerned what may become lost in translation. 

She agreed the tooth needed to be removed and told us to come back at 2:00. Of course I verified that she meant that very day and she did. We went on a picnic lunch in the countryside (pictures above and below) and headed back. 

The cost of the Novocain and extraction was $7.50. Filling the antibiotics and pain meds at the pharmacy was $25. The irony is that we asked the driver to help us find her soft food and juice, so she could have something on her stomach for the medicine. He stopped at an actual grocery store. Let me tell you, we would all be much thinner if Walmart had these prices! The cost of a small package of soft cookie/bread and a small juice was $9. These were both Dollar Tree packages in America. This is why most Ethiopians will never set foot in an actual grocery store in their life time. It was a first for Brooke and probably a last for me.

So, the end result is in Ethiopia, snacks are more costly than dental work -

something to think about! 

Finally, here is a quick shot of my view during the dental procedure. I must comment that Debs and I both found it a little surprising that in the hospital bathroom, the only soap choice was Windex. If you tip a birr (5 cents), they will

squirt it on your hands for you! 

Please say a prayer for us tomorrow, we are going to the official area adoption office for an appointment that I did not request. Two years ago, I requested and begged and was denied. I just ask for clear direction and clear answers tomorrow for Brooke and I!

  Jenny

Adama

I I

We spent our first full day in Adama with Brooke. We have been blessed with a very helpful translator to travel with us. When we asked Brooke what she would like to do, that she hasn't been able to, she said it was to go and see the river. The river is called Awash and it charges an admission as a spa, because it has hot-springs. The cultural differences between Ethiopia and America are vast but I've never been as puzzled as I was today at the "spa". Brooke wanted to bathe in the hot-springs and brought a bathing suit. There are clearly marked men and women sides to the hot springs as clothes were also purely optional. There was a open dressing room, single shower to shower in freezing cold water required before soaking in super hot hot springs. As a bonus, there were three squatty-potties, one with a large rock that you could use to hold the door closed (my personal preference.) What was so cultural different were the men and teen boys who kept strolling through the women areas and there was no alarm. They never went down to the hot springs, yet the bathers were clearly visible from the points where the men walked. The walking around attire ranged from full Muslim burkas to wet undergarments with scarves wrapped like towels. It was interesting. What else is so unAmerican is the gorgeous hotel cottages they are building, with probably hefty rental fees, yet the ground everywhere is littered with garbage. There is no attempt to keep the ground or river clean. 

As I doubt you are thinking, the best part of the spa experience, is the feeding of the monkeys. While they are wild, they have learned that visitors often bring bananas and they have gotten quite tame. After a briefing from a trusted Bethesda Doctor, I learned monkeys can have rabies, so I had sworn off getting that close. Today's adventure, however,  put a monkey in my lap - quite literally. We bought many large bunches of bananas and the little boogers aren't real patient. After feeding them for some time, when we got back in the van, they would attempt to board with us. The driver had a stick to keep them out. In an effort to feed the last few bananas to a few approaching monkeys from my window opposite of the door, I opened it and threw a banana to a monkey. In a split second, another monkey swung through the window, into my lap and was face to face with me. My hysterical scream didn't faze him in the least and he only exited when I threw the banana out the window. He dove after it. I don't have a photo of that but I think I was doing mental math of the cost of being medically evacuated due to potential rabies contraction from the very monkeys I had been warned about. Here's a shot of the monkeys, although our videoes are much more fun. 

I seem to have no control of where the pictures place themselves, so just look around for what makes sense. We had an interesting police stop on the way to the resort also. The police waved us over when driving past. In previous visits, they generally just ask where the pale faced visitors are from and then smile that we are from America and let us continue. Profiling is alive and well in Africa; we cause a lot of trouble just being so pale. This time the police did not ask us anything but we're very firm with our driver and obviously demanding something he did not have. He showed his lisence and registration but the officer was obviously not impressed. After some time on the side of the road, the translator told us that he was legally required to have a first aid kit and a fire extinguisher in the vehicle to legally transport  foreigners. We found that quite hysterical,  as the seatbelts cut out of the van was not a problem, but they wanted to make sure we had band-aids on board! Again, different culture. 

Please humor me with this photo of Deb taking advantage of the spa facilities and washing her feet in the lovely accommodations while Brooke soaked in the springs. I had left her my purse and Brooke's backpack with her while I had journeyed to the squatty, so she was loaded down like a pack mule. I know you are thinking that we are living it up here now!

In spite of pushing the monkey picture lower and lower, I want to show us with Brooke at the river edge. Brooke has never gotten in water, even a swimming pool, and is quite frightened of the idea. 

That is all tonight, tomorrow we are going to attempt to get in with a dentist here in Adama; Brooke has double eye teeth and needs two pulled. The driver said an appointment isn't needed, so we will see. I wanted to go shopping along the market, but I really don't think we can here. We have not seen any other whites and the prices drastically increase when we walk near anything. I think it's better going in Addis for shopping. 

Here's the monkeys and it's time for me to crawl under my mosquito net.

One Short of a Dozen

 I am grieving at this point the reality that our 12th child, Brooke, will probably never legally be a member of our family. The red tape issues with her adoption do not look hopeful as Ethiopia struggles to process even the "easy" adoption cases. While I am leery of teenager adoptions for very good reasons, we really believe that she would have integrated well into our family. The sad part is how desperately she hoped to join Bella and have a family of her own. At this point, our only option is to see how we can move forward helping her in Ethiopia. 

I'm not supposed to show pictures of children that we are in the midst of adopting, but that isn't even our case, so I want to show everyone a picture of Brooke. She is featured with another little girl, Hannah, that is also STUCK and un-adoptable due to some laws in Ethiopia that desperately need to be changed. 

I would have adopted Hannah long ago also if it were possible - we fell in love with her our first trip to Ethiopia in June of 2012. She was 6 and Brooke was 12 - now they are 8 and 14! Wasted years that they could have lived in our family!
 

Brooke and Hannah

Brooke and the No-Update Update

 It's been a long time since I have given a Brooke update. The reason for that is that I have nothing to tell. As many of you will remember, I flew to Ethiopia in September of last year to try and further Brooke's adoption case along. The logistical challenge lies in the reality that she doesn't have one living family member to sign her adoption papers -  (yes, I know that logically the kids that are 100% orphaned are the ones that need to be adopted, but the reality in Ethiopia is they are generally the children that are stuck in the system.) While we were in Ethiopia, we thought we had cleared a way for her case to progress to the first of three courts. Now that we are six months past that point, with no reports back of her case even entering the first court, I am beginning to lose hope. 

We are almost at the two year mark since Brooke's mom died and we asked the agency to begin her adoption process. We agonized and prayed about the decision because it's no small feat to adopt a 12 year old (who is also the same age as our two sons!) We really felt like it was the right thing to step out in faith and reunite Brooke with her biological sister, Bella. Since we have had time with her on three different trips to Ethiopia, we love her and want her to be our 12th child! As tough as an older child adoption is, I really feel like she would do well in our country and our family. 

I fall back on the reality, however, that we have prayed the entire time that God would place her in our family if it is His will. We will absolutely believe that God did not consider it in her, or our other children's, best interest if the adoption never takes place. We will not abandon Brooke in Ethiopia either - we will somehow make sure that she is taken care of. The best thing in all of this right now is that she is living day to day knowing that she is loved and wanted by all of us! That alone can make a huge difference for a child.

 West Sands did a wonderful service to these two placing them together in the guest home and allowing them to bond before we ever brought them home. They are the best of friends and as close as any two sisters could be.

Bella and Selah

 I would just love to see Brooke given the same opportunity with the seven sisters she would be coming home to!

Ethiopia - Day Two with Brooke

We started our day with a meal here - gorgeous.

On the second day with Brooke and the other kids at the orphanage, we pulled out the things we packed. First, we brought drawing paper and crayons. I thought that once the kids got bored with drawing, we would make paper airplanes to fly. They never got bored - I think we colored for two hours. They lovingly dedicated most of the pictures back to us.  
 

 We praised their creativity; it's so good to see their delight. Look at that smile! 

 If I could select a #13 child for our family - it would be Hana. We all bonded with Hana last year, and while we wanted to see her, we desperately hoped that she wouldn't still be at the orphanage this year. She is still there; she is one of the children that are stuck, in spite of no family, due to the parameters of the law. She has lived most of her life at the orphanage while her mother is out of the country. Her mother isn't willing to raise her nor sign for her to be adopted, so she is destined to grow up without a family. It is really heart-breaking, for her and the other two million like her!

 After drawing, we jumped rope and played soccer. The kids loved looking at pictures taken during the fun activities.

 We did get down to business and had a meeting about moving Brooke's adoption along. JD is smart in being hesitant about sharing our adoption challenges in Blogland, because Ethiopia is so strict about information and pictures. So without all the details, we think we have a way forward. I am not sure it would have happened if I hadn't been there in person. While they care deeply for the children, there are so many that have cases that move, that it isn't natural to pull yourself away to work on a super challenging case. There are allowances in the law that help Brooke, but since they aren't standard operating procedures, they had not been pursued until now. I hope to hear in the next few weeks that we are submitted to court. 

When we began Brooke's adoption, we hoped she was a simple one trip adoption and we would only have to travel for embassy. Since it's been so long since Bella went through court, we now have to travel two more times. Since I just returned, Brooke turned from a one to a three trip adoption. It's all good; God has a purpose!

Brooke is in the orphanage that Bella lived in from newborn to two years old. They all adored her and the director dug out this picture to show me. When you adopt children that have no baby pictures and little history, one baby picture is priceless!

Ethiopia - Day One

 I've been home several days, but most of them have been corn-rowing hair (three of the four done) and recovering from jet-lag. We had such a wonderful trip and have so many pictures that I don't even know where to begin - so I decided to begin at the beginning. And since we saw Brooke on the first full day in Ethiopia, the beginning is also the most important story to tell. 

Here is Aunt Deb, Alei and me on our lay-over in Istanbul -

Here is Aunt Deb, my friend, Tonya, and Alei in Addis Ababa after landing and collecting our 16 suitcases. I don't know if I ever introduced my traveling companions, but it was the four of us women loose in Ethiopia with only a driver named Jimmy that didn't speak much English!
 

  
We stayed at a different guest house this time, which was right down town near the airport. This is the intersection that we could view from our balcony.

We got in during the middle of the night Wed. night/ Thurs. morning, but were up and on the road Thursday morning to Nazareth, or Adama, where Brooke's orphanage is. The scenes of Africa from the car window are always captivating.  

 

  
There is a sharp contrast between the cities along the way and the open country side.

  
Once we were in Adama, we checked in our hotel and shuffled our luggage that was orphanage and school donations. 

 Our first stop was to see Brooke. While I can't show her face, I hope to show some of the joy that she showed in seeing Alei and me return. She came running when she saw us.

I can only imagine how thrilled she was to know that Aunt Deb and friend Tonya (that we consider family) care enough about her to also make the trip to meet her. We had more challenges this time communicating with her since we did not have a full time interpreter. I brought her new toiletries, some clothes and a stuffed camel that made her face light up; somehow Alyssa found out that camels are her favorite animal.

  
After sitting a while, I asked her to show Aunt Deb and Tonya around the orphanage. It is an impressive orphanage that raises chickens for eggs and cows for milk and sells the surplus.

The girls' rooms now had lockers. Brooke even had a key to keep her things safe. I'm not showing the open picture of it because she has a photo of herself in there, but she had the family photo book Alyssa made her and things we have bought her neatly arranged. 
 

 After spending the afternoon with her and the other kids, we headed out. It wasn't difficult that day because we were coming back the very next morning. Brooke walked us out.  

 We enjoyed the sites of Adama. After spending time in three cities in Ethiopia, it is still my favorite.

We delivered the school supplies to the West Sands school. It wasn't near as fun as my previous trips since school had not started back for the new school year, but it's nice to know that when the kids show up, there will be notebooks, pencils and crayons waiting for them. 

 A group of white women attract attention where ever they go, so we spent a little time with the kids that gathered at the school gates. We talked to them and handed out Slim Jims. 

These are the only camels we saw this trip. Previously, there were several herds along the drive to Adama. 

Tomorrow I will tell about our second day in Adama and the progress I hope I accomplished in Brooke's adoption case.

Oh My Word!

If I had any clue how the last month had played out in Brooke's adoption, I would have traveled to Ethiopia right after Gabriel and Alayna's wedding back in July, to know if there is a legitimate hope of bringing her home before my adoption expires completely.  We have spent the last year with only occasional updates from the adoption agency that they are still trying to clear Brooke, but there are difficulties. Only after I told them that I needed a clear indication of what the hold up was, was I transferred to someone who actually went and got the whole story. The whole story, in short, is that Brooke needs a family member, any family member, to sign off on her adoption. It is not that anyone thinks that she isn't an orphan or shouldn't be adopted, it's only that UNICEF and it's anti-adoption agenda can shut down agencies and countries if every I isn't dotted exactly the correct way. Once I got the complete story, we devised the plan that I would travel and petition the court to pass her in court, based on the fact that her only living relative is Bella, already in our care. Once we had that plan in motion, I started re-evaluating my adoption documents for her. I was met with the horrible realization that my I600 was going to expire next week. While I initially thought we only had to re-pay (not to make light of that since immigration charges $760 to give us one piece of paper that allows our children in the country), in reality is was much more complicated. The I600 required a thorough home study update, which is much more involved in Virginia than even last year. Mine was also complicated by the reality that Gabriel no longer lives at home, yet is on our previous home study, which means he needs to be finger-printed, etc, in VA is spite of the fact he now lives in San Diego. So, at this point, I'm drowning in paperwork for an adoption that is, in reality, a long shot. 

I drove my sister to the airport today and arrived home to my notarized home study update. Upon further investigation, I realized that it had to be in the office in MO on Monday! Further analysis made me realize that I had 1.5 hours to compile the pile of paperwork. JD came home and copied for me and then dashed out the door to arrive at the Post Office at only a few minutes before 5:00! Nothing like the last minute! I pray that it will all make a difference in her case! 

I leave in less than two weeks for Ethiopia and will be writing a trip information update in the next few days- and asking for your prayers while I'm there!

  

(Stole this from another blog - summarizes my life pretty well most days! I should have majored in "dossier completion"!)

Big Kid Update - including Brooke

 Yesterday was a bit rough since it was Gabriel and Alayna's last day in Virginia. California is just so far away and three years is just so long. Here's a quick picture right before they walked out the door for the airport.

 JD and I with them -

 We had some sad little people. I wouldn't think that Selah would understand, but she understood enough to cry.

Gabriel and Alayna both rank right near the top with Elijah - I'm afraid it's going to be really hard on him!

We did get news that they landed last night and began the housing hunt today; it's not going to be easy with the size dog that Harley is.

We are also down to the end of the time Alyssa is away - she should be on her final week's work in South Africa. I have heard very little from her, but it's all been super positive.

Alyssa in Ethiopia last year

After a full year of waiting for progress with Brooke's adoption, they finally leveled with me that she isn't progressing. Although it's not good news, I appreciate someone finally explaining what the problem is. The issue is that there are two paths that allow a child to be cleared for adoption in Ethiopia. One is the child is abandoned and there are police reports indicating it; the police then are the responsible party as that child progresses through the court system. The second is that the child has a relative that relinquished them to the orphanage; that relative is then required to appear in a few court sessions and an embassy appointment authorizing them to be adopted. There are also approximately two million children like Brooke - children that are stuck because they don't have a living, or willing, relative to do their paperwork, nor were they abandoned. These children are often the ones who need adoption the worse, yet they are trapped in a system that won't allow it.

Study hut at Brooke's orphanage

The difference between Bella and Brooke is that their mom was alive to appear in local and regional court for Bella's adoption. Bella was then hung up in federal court because her mother was in a coma. The judge said that she had to wake to sign the final order, or pass away and the death certificate could be used. We held on to Bella's referral (we were asked if we wanted to swap for a child without a glitch) and it was only the matter of a month or so that her Mom passed away and the judge finalized the adoption with the submission of her death certificate. At this point, Brooke still lived with her mother and only entered the orphanage after her mom's death. Now we are back at the beginning and the local and regional court will not accept the Mom's death certificate in place of a signature and there is not a single living relative to sign for her. Her packet has been in the the local court system for a full year!



coffee at the orphanage

So, we are in a bit of a difficult position. We are not going to progress like a normal adoption, but neither can we walk away from her knowing that we are her only hope for a family. Bella is her only living relative and her future in Ethiopia would be to age out of the orphanage at 15 and be on her own with no means of support.

I asked the adoption agency what they recommended that we try. They are going to check to see if she is able to represent herself in court in place of a relative, because at her age of 13, she obviously is old enough to verify that her mother passed away and that she has no other family. Our other attempt is to petition MOWA (Ministry of Women and Children) to give her an orphan packet based on the fact that we already have her biological sister.

The plan is that I will be making a trip to Ethiopia in the next few months to see what door may be opened and to just reassure her that we aren't giving up on bringing her home This adoption is going to require extra prayer!