Evelyn and the Adoption Controversy

I just read one more "we shouldn't adopt from Africa" article (because we are removing children from their families and culture.) First of all, I agree, the adoption industry is ripe for corruption; anytime you have the potential of making money in a third world country, the potential for abuse is a strong possibility. I completely agree that there should be strong laws by the country and standards by the adoption agency and when they are abused, the agency should lose their license. I chose the agency we are using for Ethiopia largely on the commitment that they use to make sure that abuse doesn't occur. 

One thing that is way too simplistic is the idea that no child that isn't 100% orphaned should be adoptable. Many people even go to the extreme to say that even the orphans don't need adoption, because the community will step in and care for those children. While that is a lovely idea, it is not the reality that I've seen. The children at the school that our adoption agency just took over are majority orphaned and they are living in the worst of conditions because the extended family and neighbors do not generally treat them like family, but domestic workers. These children would be so much better off, in my opinion, becoming a legitimate family member through adoption.  

Here is my personal, heartbreaking example of "family" that would appear as a statistical success to those that are anti-adoption. This is a picture of Evelyn, the little girl that we were adopting in Liberia that was removed from the orphanage by her Grandmother. The agency we used tried to persuade Evelyn's grandmother to allow her to be adopted, as her mother wished, because they knew that the Grandmother's plan was that Evelyn provide for her by prostitution once she was old enough to work. 

Evelyn, and a lot of children like her, deserve better!

Elijah's Whistle

Gabriel has been cleaning out and packing the majority of his room, since he leaves for Boot Camp at the end of next month. The little kids have been hovering around him because he is constantly handing out "treasures" that are being unearthed from his drawers and closet.

One of the great finds is a life-guard whistle that he gave to Elijah. I can't even recount how many times today I have had to remind him that the whistle sound is for outside! At lunch, Alyssa picked it up and blew it real softly (unlike Elijah's blows). Elijah looked at her in horror and said, "Alyssa, you can't blow that...it's not a girl whistle." He then examined it and said, "great, you slobbered all over it." He is good entertainment. 

We are loving the fall weather and doing most of school in the screened in porch. I'm heading back to To Kill A Mockingbird.

First Week of School (and I lived to tell the tale)

 The first week of school was rather rough, primarily due to Moriah attending two classes at the high school. I have been on the road from 7 to 7:30 every morning driving her and then I only have 30 minutes to get Tori and Julia ready for school. JD should be able to resume normal work hours in about a week, and then he will relieve me of the morning run, which will make a huge difference in my mornings. Beyond the driving, it is Moriah's first experience in a class-room, which is also an adjustment. I placed her in the Honors English class and the teacher wasted no time piling on the homework; we are currently reading To Kill A Mockingbird out-loud for her class, it just happens to be one of my very favorites.

I think Tori and Julia are doing pretty well in their new classes. I'm not receiving much feed-back from either teacher yet, but I expect to as they are put in reading groups.

I decided that James and Ben are going to have to get up earlier and start working much earlier. I have been getting them up by 8, but they are seldom ready to school until 9:30. Since I'm back on the road to pick Moriah up at 10:30, there just isn't enough uninterrupted time. Starting Monday, they are going to be up by 7 and I'm expecting them to be ready for school by 8:00 when I return from the bus stop. Since they are James and Ben, I often have to remind them to get dressed, eat breakfast, do their chores, a few times each morning. I won't be doing that anymore; they are going to be ready by 8 or there won't be any privileges after school that day. I'm sure they will catch on rather quickly after a few painful days. 

Elijah and I started Handwriting Without Tears. I'm going to start him in the Hooked on Phonics first book also, because he already knows all the sounds of the letters. He loves "writing" with the sponge on the little chalk-board. 

So far, the adopting agency hasn't been able to submit Bella's packet to the Embassy because they need a letter from the Doctor explaining that a new lab is being sent to Kenya for analysis. For whatever crazy reason, the Dr. won't write the letter. So, this week I sent the clinic a request for an update and I have not heard back from them either. I really, really don't want this single piece of paper to delay the girls from coming home until November!

The End is Near

I received an email this morning that Selah's case has been submitted to the Embassy; I'm assuming that Bella's will be quick to follow. The end of waiting for them to come home is almost here; we are planning on traveling the first week of October. 

In this picture, I was talking the girls into sharing their fruit-snacks with the two little boys that arrived on the scene. (It's a tougher job to convince pre-schoolers to do anything when you don't  speak their language.)

We are coming girls...we are coming and I'll be bringing more fruit snacks for that 17 hour flight across the ocean!

Saturday and Adoption Update

We are on our fourth weekend that JD has worked seven days a week. He is re-competing his contract and it has been the most demanding that his job has ever been. It's not been real pleasant for me either, as I don't feel like I ever get a break. Beyond just missing him, part of the challenge is that he isn't able to do the jobs he normally does, like take the garbage to the dump or mow the grass. Today the garbage is overflowing again, but it is going to require the big trailer to go to the far dump and right now, that is still out of my league. (Last dump run, I paid a friend's son to take it.)

Mowing isn't entirely out of my league, however, so this morning I decided that the kids and I would mow the grass, (it's a huge stretch to even call it grass - it is clover, weeds and dirt patches.) JD has just let Ben start cutting this year, but I took it upon myself to also train James and Alyssa and we have been rotating for the last four hours. The around the house mowing is going to have to take place tonight, once JD gets home and starts the stupid push mower that none of us have been able to start. 

More than just garbage and mowing, this work month has been hard on all of us. My kids with challenges always have more challenges when their Dad is gone too much and their mother loses patience day after day with little or no breaks. 

There are still wonderful moments that make me love life, like watching Elijah play "Days of Elijah" along with the guitarist on YouTube.

And today when I came in a moment before Julia and Elijah and glanced out the window, she was carrying Elijah because he didn't have shoes and was complaining that the rocks hurt his feet. She didn't have shoes either, but she carried him across the driveway and all the way around the parking area without a complain. Moments like that make up for so many fights between them!

We have an exciting adoption update! I received news that one of the medical tests that the Embassy requires came back inconclusive and they have to re-run the test and send it to Kenya for analysis. The second test is going to take an additional 25 days, so I wrote the Embassy and asked if they would allow the girls cases to begin processing while we wait for the test. They agreed, so our agency can turn our cases into the Embassy. That should hopefully mean that the girls will be able to travel in three to four weeks. We are probably looking at the first week of October to bring them home.