The Cuppycake Song For Selah and Bella

 According to Alyssa, this song is a popular YouTube sensation. When Elijah was just turning two, Alyssa taught him how to sing the first half, then when he was a little older he learned the rest. I have been planning on videoing it for about a year and last night as he was laying in bed, I actually did it.  Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom first ...

Elijah dedicates this song to Selah and Bella while they wait to come home

Food for Man and Beast

Twice a year the Commissary has a case-lot sale, which is generally very good deals. The problem is that while the items are in bulk and cheaper, I still end up with a lot of money invested in things that don't really feed us for the week - like ketchup and sandwich bags. While I didn't plan on buying much more than chicken (which they didn't have this time) and pet food,  I still came home with this - 

We had three very-full carts (mostly due to dog and cat food), and since the van has about zero cargo room in the back, we had to move the few kids I did take to the back row and pack from the front back.  Then they got to climb over it each and every stop I made - like I don't attract enough attention just trying to park and unload the kids. 


Here's what I now get to organize in my already crowded storage room. I need to have a serious clean-out day!

The dog food was $12.50 for the 44 pound bag and the cat food was $7.50 for the big bag; with four dogs and 100 cats (give or take a dozen), this won't last as long as I hope. 

On a more heart-warming note than dog food, this is what I found when I headed to bed last night. Sweet, huh?

Local Friends

Local friends,
I have volunteered to hand carry supplies to a safe-house in Ethiopia that has just started pulling little girls out of human trafficking. At this point, they have five little girls that came to them with nothing. They are in need of toiletry supplies as well as clothing, etc. If you would like to donate anything for me to hand-carry for you, please contact me at jenandkids@va.metrocast.net. I will have pictures and specific information on the girls, hopefully today, if you are interested in shopping for one of them. When I say little, the youngest is only six; these girls are in desperate need to be shown the hands and feet of Jesus - they have already tragically seen the worst that humanity has to offer!

BIG Ethiopia Travel Update -

I want to start this post with the reminder that adoption always comes with loss. It is often the best available option, but the reality is that adoption is a result of our sinful world and always accompanies pain; usually for the child being adopted and always for the birth parents. To me, adoptions in 3rd world countries are the very saddest - they are generally the reality of poverty. We decided to adopt the children that we are adopting because we wanted to be a family for children that did not have any other options. When we accepted Isabella and Selah's referrals, we knew they both had birth mothers, but neither of them are well or able to care for them. We found out today that Bella's mother is in a coma. Although she signed for Isabella to be released for adoption when she checked her into the orphanage over six months ago and again when her packet was referred to us, the judge requires a third signature (and the American Embassy basically a fourth.) Since her mother is unable to sign, a relative was located to sign in the mother's place, but the judge is not willing to accept the power of attorney. So, Bella's case will not be heard until the mother comes out of the coma and is able to sign or she finally passes away. I am praying for the first and the ability to meet her when we travel, but ultimately we want what is best for her. 


In the meantime, we are not delaying Selah, so we have a preliminary court hearing next Wednesday, May 23rd, and a final court date on June 4th (as long as May 23rd moves through with no problems). This means that Selah will be moved to the transition house where Bella already is and we will be with our both our little girls in a little over TWO WEEKS. 


There is some hope of the judge letting us appear in court for Bella's case before it appears before him and in that case we would not have to travel again for her court case. We are certainly praying that works out, but the answer to every one's question is yes, there may be more than two trips to Ethiopia at this point. Worst case is that there will be four, but we will do what we have to do to get our little girls home; if I could show you their sweet little faces, you wouldn't blame us! JD and I will go on this first most-important trip for court and then we will evaluate the other trips as they come. I am so thankful that this first trip falls before the time that JD isn't able to travel. 

Mother's Day - Plants and Blankets

We had the second week of our adoption plant-sale fund-raiser yesterday. Since this was really our first fund-raiser, I was pretty thrilled with how well it went. We definitely earned a sizable amount towards our up-coming travel expenses. A friend of mine is also going to host a Norwax party at the end of the month for us (they are awesome non-hazardous cleaning supplies) and another friend made two lap quilts that I get to raffle towards our adoption expenses. Exciting progress!

I found out today that our hold up traveling for court is that Isabella's mom that is too sick to travel; she has to appear in court as well. The adoption agency is going back into regional court with a power of attorney and then we hope to be able to advance on to federal court soon. We are getting down to the wire for JD to be able to travel with me, so I just pray that it is soon (like this week soon)! 


I told a dear friend at church that I wanted soft blankets to leave with the girls on my first trip. She told me that she would make me two. She gave them to me yesterday and they are so precious that I don't want to risk losing them. I think I'll buy two Walmart ones the first trip (and leave them) and take these for their airplane blankets on the second trip. The blankets are identical except she stitched Bella and Selah into the middle and the corner of each blanket. 

Can you see Bella? How sweet is that; it's in the middle of a flower and the name is repeated at the corner with a cross. I can't wait to give them to the girls!

Speaking of sweet girls, I went to a Mother's Day tea at Julia's K class today; she knew the songs and had sweet little crafts for gifts for me. 

 I'm happy that she is doing well at school. I just read another Mom's blog about schedules and security and I'm realizing more and more that Julia can not handle any flexibility. I am trying to get it together enough that our schedule will be a security for Selah and Bella when they come home as well. 

I am hoping that JD and I can attend a weekend seminar on attachment parenting this fall (in addition to the trip to Ethiopia). It seems unreasonable to try to do two trips, but I really think it would benefit all of us!

A Few Other Things

There's so much that goes on around here that never makes the blog, like last Saturday when JD and I hauled the three youngest kids, three dogs (one large one that suffered such trauma in his early days that he can't handle a collar or leash), and three cats to stand in line for two hours at the rabies shot clinic. I bet the little guys won't be begging to go next year - it was long and hot. 

The humorous part was when we were leaving and trying to carry the four carriers, lead Magnum and drag Lincoln over the hill back to the car, we saw a lady that JD works with and she yelled, "My word, JD, you have as many pets as you do kids." I am not even going to enter the debate of whose crazier when  she was wearing a dog in a pet Ergo around her neck.

I also discovered one of my new favorite things - the pressure washer. I had no idea how wonderful that thing was that JD pulled out occasionally. Now that I know how much I love it, the porch will never turn that moldy green again! You know what's cool about 11 year old boys? They still like to help whenever there is power behind the tool, so they each did a set of steps and I did everything in between. 

We also had a plant sale as an adoption fund-raiser. We were sold plants at whole-sale by a nursery and were able to sell them for the regular cost. We bought 150 and sold almost 100 of them last Sunday; we are going to attempt to sell the rest this Sunday on Mother's Day. 

Lastly, I painted the front door red. All the kids then joked about living in a barn - that sure would explain the mess they leave around the door.


I liked the look for about one day, now the dogs are leaving streaks of white where they scratch to come in. I foresee some gorgeous Plexiglass on the lower one-third of the door in the future.

One of my next projects is to try another idea with the million pairs of outside shoes. I can't take the mess anymore. I am thinking a cabinet with doors and labeled shoe shelves inside (and I make whoever is too lazy to open the door to put their shoes in write hundreds of sentences until they learn...).

Oh yeah, on the school front, Julia came home all excited because they are going on a field trip to see George Washington. (It's really one of his homes).

My Cowboy

I have a little cowboy that has been without cowboy boots or a hat for almost a year. He has seriously been asking for new cowboy boots since this time last year when I gave away his too small pair. While I intended on finding him a pair for his last birthday, and then Christmas, it just didn't happen. The other day JD took him to the craft store and found him this acceptable brown cowboy hat. 

Alei and I then searched the Internet for brown (he did not want black and they seem to be much more abundant) cowboy boots. The longer we searched, the higher my cap price became, because reasonably priced cowboy boots are way harder to find than I ever dreamed. After all our searching, I decided that I wasn't going to make him wait the two months until his birthday, so when the "present man" (UPS, Fed Ex...) showed up with the box, we handed it to him. 

I am the mom of one HAPPY cowboy and since he has seen these pictures, he has been playing "the present man brings my boots" and I've had to re-pack them in the box a half a dozen times. I love the joy little people have over little things!

Overdue Thoughts and Tough Decisions

I have heard that the definition of an idiot  is someone who does the same thing over and over and hopes for different results. That is the point I feel I am at with some of my children and their behavior. While I haven't written about Julia and her challenges in some time, I assure you they are alive and well. The toughest thing about Julia's behavior is that I really don't have a clue what is causing it and how to improve it. We have tried many, many things (even professional) and nothing seems to make much of a difference. Her issue manifests with screaming and crying. On any given day, she makes tons of demands that are not doable and when she doesn't get what she is demanding, she cries and screams. There are days that she cries and screams three to four hours of the eight that JD is at work. There are other days that it may only be a few rounds of 20 to 30 minutes. We also have issues of her just picking trouble with the other kids; she seems to have the goal to make them angry and then will come and tell on them, (often telling me that they did whatever she actually did). 


I am also not able to ever leave Julia in the care of Moriah or Alyssa; I do with Gabriel and Alei, but it's tough on them (as it is on me). JD is really the only person that she doesn't perform her extended screaming displays for. This presents quite the problem when I need to take other children to places that aren't equipped for Julia. 


Over time, it is obvious that Julia does the best with complete structure. She does great when she works with me in the kitchen or out at the garden and I keep her completely busy. While I do that as much as humanly possible, it is REALLY, REALLY difficult to home school the other children with her present. If my attention is not on her, she is usually screaming. We have done hours and hours of school with her on the couch screaming. To put it nicely, it tries all of our nerves and seldom helps with a learning environment.  


I decided that I want to provide as much structure for her as possible in hopes of "resetting" her habit of demanding and screaming. I also want a home environment that is more  conducive to learning for my other children. The only logical combination was to send Julia to school. While I would have loved to send her to a Christian Montessori school, there is nothing of the sort in our area; so for the first time in 20 years, I enrolled a child in our local public school. 


When I told my mother-in-law, she seemed rather shocked. That is because I used to be one of those people that thought they had found the superior method of education and was planning on homeschooling all my children all the way through. It may of taken 20 years and eight children, but I am far less sure of my beliefs at this point. It is easy, easy to see that some of my children have done well with the experience. I am also quite convinced that homeschooling is the only hope for James and Ben to actually get an education. I also have a few other children that all my energy is put into constant power struggles and arguments and I often wonder if the strain of homeschooling them will intimately hurt our relationship. 


The reality is that I have many children from  many backgrounds and traumatic beginnings. There is not going to be a clear "best" that fits all of them; I am really just going to have to pray for them and do what I feel is best for them as individuals. In Julia's case, right now, it's going to school. I am only planning on sending her to 1st grade next year and then I hope to be able to pull her back out and home school her along with Elijah and the new little girls. 


Since yesterday was Julia's first day, JD stayed home until Julia was at school. She was very excited heading to the bus with her new back-pack and lunch-box, but the bus never made it's scheduled appearance. JD took her to school and I went to the transportation office to work out the kinks. 

First day - I pinned a note on her with her name, the teacher's name, the bus number and "This is my first day" plea to anyone who saw her standing around looking confused. I figure that they aren't walking kids to class at this point and she would need a little extra guidance!

Today we walked down the drive way and the bus indeed came at the scheduled time. Julia hopped right on and I was relieved, (because there would be little hope of me getting her on unless she wants to go).

She sure is cute for being such a stinker!

Julia still carries Magnum around like when we first got him; it won't be long that he is as big as her.

I intended on taking a picture of Julia boarding the bus, but I was too distracted trying to remove Lincoln and Magnum from in front of the bus wheels so the bus driver could actually drive off. 


Tori, Elijah and I took a little walk on the way home from the bus stop (and I only cried a little). 

Way More than Hair

This has been my day - 

I worked at the kitchen counter from about 10:30 until 4:30 taking out Julia's "old" hair and putting in these new braids. While I did have a few math breaks (teaching the boys how to find area one more time) and a quick trip to Sheetz for Julia's reward Slurpee, for the most part Julia's hair consumed my day! This was an important hair session for Julia because she has a big approaching event that will be a blog of its own. It's really not near as much about the event itself as it is about my view of success and failure and how I think we, as people, view the world. 

Here's the kitchen floor after our hair session; uh, really it's way grosser than the picture shows. There is always hair and broken rubber bands as far as the eye can see once I'm finished. And beads, do you know how many of those I pick up every time I vacuum? They hurt stepping on them at night too (and people complain about Legos).

Julia's big event is Monday; I'll try to capture my thoughts then. In the meantime, we are sharing about our adoption at church on Sunday, so I need to focus on that!

                                               Jenny

 

Yesterday and Today

Let me start by saying that my Y work-out buddy and I decided to alter our normal schedule to complete P90X with Alei for the next three months; so instead of going to the Y, she comes here and we start in the basement by 6:00 a.m.  Today was only day two, but Alei was up to 3:00 a.m. doing school work and I told her to sleep and Denise and I would go it alone. Alei left me a note, but I logically used the second disk in the program. When Alei showed up, as we were finishing, she discovered that we were doing a work out from week #4. If you know anything about P90X, you just hope to live to week #4! Lets just say that every muscle I have from the neck down hurts and I'm not even sure if I can walk down the stairs much less do another work out tomorrow. 

 I have spent the better part of the last two days dealing with paper. After paying the bills and filing the pile, I started in on our medical bill pile. My neglected pile was huge since insurance companies insist on three to five pieces of paper per doctor visit and we seem to have way more than average visits. This time I had three different bills that the insurance company did not pay because of errors from the doctor offices, (like filing with JD's name and my social.) It amazes me that they do their job poorly, then send the penalty to me to pay like I'm not going to question an extra $700 bill. 

This is my current medical bill file, just since October. I think I'm going to have to add a second file once the two new little girls come home; newly adopted children from Africa have lots of initial doctor visits!

On a more fun note, I laminated pictures for Isabella and Selah and put them in the mail to a lady that is traveling to adopt a little boy from Selah's orphanage this week. She is going to try and find our girls,  give them the pictures (telling them that we are coming for them) and take a few pictures of them for us! So exciting! I still don't have a court date, hopefully, it will be any minute!

While I was at it, I laminated the pictures of Alei and Beneta (in Uganda) to send to her. The poor sweet little girl still is not adoptable because the workers of the orphanage are not doing what needs to be done to clear the children. Alei has a friend who is traveling to Uganda in June and is going to take our care package to Beneta as well as buy rice and beans for the kids who live in her orphanage. I put Beneta's pictures on a key ring. 

 We are hoping to get pictures back of her with her new clothes with her bear that says, "I love you." We want her to know that she has people who love her; it's such a sad life in an orphanage in the slums of Uganda!

Lastly, I was looking for a "coffee cup sippee" for Elijah when I discovered that he already had five stashed in the bottom of the fridge. When I commented that he had five in there, he glowed and said, "I know...that's my collection. Isn't it cool?" I also have a stick gun collection on my dresser and a rock collection on the kitchen counter courtesy of Elijah. That's my boy!