Gabriel and the Military

The older my kids get, the less blog time they receive; generally they want it this way. Gabriel has been known to scrutinize any pictures of himself that I put on the blog rather harshly. (Should this blog post disappear at any time, assume that he caught wind of it and didn't approve it for whatever reason.)

Gabriel is a senior this year and has spent the year agonizing over what he wants to do with his life. Let me just say that I'd be happy to set his course for him, but it isn't what he is interested in. I just want him to do their college on-line or down the road at the local community college, but Gabriel has never been very academically motivated. He intends on completing college, but doesn't want to be a full-time student. Gabriel has also always wanted to be a police-man or in the military, so he has been actively looking into combining those passions. It seems in spite of Gabriel being 50% my DNA, he is 100% like his father and his quest for adventure is much higher than his quest for knowledge.

The short story is that Gabriel has been talking to every military recruiter. They all have different programs, different strengths and different educational opportunities. He is about 99.9% sure that he is going to join one of them, so it's just a matter of what route he feels called to go.

In my defense, I grew up as a military daughter. I married JD at his seven year mark in the Navy, and finished the 20 years as a Navy wife. It's a hard life in a lot of ways; it's not the first pick that I would probably choose for any of my children. I've pretty much always told Gabriel that he can only consider joining the military AFTER college. Well, that's not going any better than all those years I said, "I certainly won't marry anyone in the military!"

So, I'm praying for peace. I've prayed for signs. I'm praying for wisdom for Gabriel.

We did ask him to delay any final decisions until after the men's retreat that he and JD went on last weekend. Now it's come and gone and the final decision is getting closer. I'll keep you posted.

Here's a few unauthorized photos of Gabriel from last weekends retreat. Here he is doing something "fun" that I would consider torture!

Here he is in a friendly game of flag-football.


I know everyone must think this, but I keep thinking........... where has the last 18 years gone? How can I be old enough to have a child that may actually leave the nest? (sigh)

Hope

I finally got to talk to a real, live doctor at a major attachment center a few hours away today. They have only SIX international slots A YEAR - crazy, but the rest are reserved for foster-care adoptees. Anyway, after a while on the phone, the lady blessed me with the news that there is only one slot left open for THE YEAR, but she would take Julia's case to the board to be approved for it. Once we are approved, we go for a long day of evaluation, then begin weekly therapy closer to home.

It will be interesting to coordinate everything, but I really want to solve these issues we are having and move on to a healthier Julia.

Here's Julia on the phone telling my cousin about her hair getting done and the two fruit-snacks she received as a reward.

Weekend Re-Cap

There are two things that I don't do too well without - my husband and my camera. I didn't have either this weekend since JD, Gabriel and my camera headed to the mountains for a men's retreat. While I've missed them all, and not had any new pictures to post, we've had a good weekend. I skipped school (you can do that on occasion when you homeschool) to meet friends at Chick Fil A on Friday. It has been my foster-parents-turned-adoptive-Moms gathering hole for years now. The kids had fun and we Moms sip diet coke and talk for hours. It's pretty entertaining really, when you note our inventory of children. There are kids of every color, from three continents, parading out of the play-ground and calling Mom; we turn heads, but are generally too involved in our own conversations to really take note.

On Saturday, I hauled the kids to a farm where they played and the Moms had a Pampered Chef party. I finally ordered the pizza stones, courtesy of my Mom, that I've been coveting for years. I also gutted the boy's room and took Alei for a job interview. Boy, oh boy, I wish I had pictures of the treasures waiting for me in the boy's room. If I had even one picture of the garbage pile, it would have given you an indication. It turns out that James is the ultimate junk collector (and hider); the bulk of his toys are now residing in the locked storage room! He knows I won't approve, so he hides his garbage in places one would never look. He has also taken many short-cuts in the cleaning department by stuffing. I now know where the 40 missing socks have been the last few months!

Today we went to church as a party of 9 and returned as a party of 12; nothing like a few extra kids to liven up a Sunday afternoon. After picking up pizza, I'm making cookies - that should hold them all off until this evening. JD and Gabriel are rushing home as Gabriel has a mandatory Y life-guard meeting this evening. It will be nice to have everyone back where they belong, including my camera!

Sad Story, on so many levels.

This adoption story will do so, so much damage to the already fragile adoption industry! But just looking at the case itself, is so sad.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article 1264744/American-sends-adopted-Russian-boy-behavioural-problems.html

I refuse to believe that any mom spends the time and money investment into adopting an international child because she wants to fail. I believe this lady thought she was providing a home for a boy who would not otherwise to able to have one. I am sure that she suffered more in the few months that she had him than she ever dreamed a cute little blond boy could dish out. The sad really only begins there. Did she bring in professionals? Did she have a battery of attachment tests run on him? Did she give up life as she knew it to provide what this little boy needed to succeed in her home? Once she decided to not parent him; did she search for a loving family that would? I'm amazed at the gifting some have to raise the children that the masses are unable to handle - did she search for another family for him?

Those would all seem to be based on what was in the best interest of the boy; returning him with a note seems to be the worst option for a little seven year old boy. My heart breaks for him. A re-homing situation would hurt, but it would still have provided a family and a future for this little boy. It's so sad; and his face reflects that sadness.

Rental Round Two

So, now that we have new renters in our "yellow" house, we thought we got some time to breathe easy in rental-ville, but not so.......Did I ever mention that we actually have three rentals? Well, rental number two had a flood; not a few inches of water flood, but a 4 foot deep basement flood that ruined everything! Thankfully, we have flood insurance, but it's still a sizeable deductible, doesn't cover everything and a big pain in the butt; never mind the items that our tenants have also lost! So, again, I'm not coming off as the land-lord poster child, but so be it.

Our tenants are actually coming for dinner tonight, so I have plenty to do! But I have made time for my favorite picture from the park a few days ago.


I love the contrast of how brown James' eyes are and how blue Elijah's are.

Oh, Julia

There is no rhyme or reason to Julia's mood (that I can see.) Yesterday was one of the worst days she has ever had! I estimate that she averaged about six hours of crying for things that were totally unreasonable. I even took her to the much requested park while Moriah was at soccer practice; that worked for about 30 minutes then she started crying to go to Chick-Fil-A. By afternoon, I pursued more information on professional attachment testing. By evening, I ordered another three recommended books from Amazon. By bed-time, I was too exhausted to even cry!


Today, Julia woke up happy and healthy. She has not barked orders at her siblings and she hasn't hung on me whining at all! One of the sweetest things about Julia is the fact she apologizes about all kinds of things on her own. She has told me that she's sorry about spilling nailing polish last week, sorry that she pulled all her clothes out of her closet and sorry she screamed so much yesterday!


After analyzing her so much yesterday, I have concluded that she CAN NOT be over-tired or have junk food. Those definitely set us up for a lose-lose environment.

Easter Snake

As the kids were hunting eggs, James found a tiny snake in the window well. I am NOT a snake lover, but neither am I scared to death of them. My snake-loving sister, however, immediately identified it as a "safe and friendly" and retrieved it for the snake-brave children to hold.

James has no fear! He has also been passed the torch of dead-animal retriever since Gabriel isn't home much of the time. If the cat brings a mouse, mole or dead bird, we get James. If a chicken dies, we call James. He's a tough little cookie, just handles it like a man.

So, James was first snake charmer -

Ben wants to be brave, especially if someone comments on how brave James is. Ben has come a long ways from running across the yard screaming, but it still was a challenge to touch it at first.

After a while, Ben worked himself up to wanting to hold the snake. He chickened out several times, but finally took the snake.

Look how proud of himself he is!

My only snake-admiring daughter is Alei; I don't know where she got it. (I guess from her Aunt?)

Alei's friend, Jordan, didn't have any qualms about him either.

Lastly, Deb's friend, Channy, held the snake - you'd have to spend a little time around her, but she is hilarious! Deb was counseling her to hold it over the mulch so it wouldn't get hurt if she freaked out and dropped it. Channy replied that she didn't want it hurt, she wanted it dead!

It was all fun and games until Ben did drop the snake, then snake-charming Aunt Deb headed into the woods to release it.

There will be other snakes. I just don't want them when Deb isn't here to identify them and catch them!

Easter

Thankfully Easter provided an opportunity to line everyone up outside and take a picture that didn't involve snow, so I replaced my winter header photo. Of course, I also took a few of the younger kids after the older ones bolted. Here's my little boys in plaid -

and my little girls in polka-dots. I will be so sad the day they announce that they don't want to coordinate anymore!

What would Easter be without a picture on a tractor? This was Elijah while he was waiting for his turn.

After church we had some friends over, I was so thankful that it was such a beautiful day! It allowed some more tractor time, lucky Aunt Deb.

Here's my girls with Aunt Deb's friend that has turned our friend as well.

For the first time in years, we had an outside Easter egg hunt. Moriah took this picture of Julia obviously snacking on something blue.

Then she was off to find more eggs............

I'm saving the snake pictures for tomorrow. That's right, we had an Easter snake visit. It wasn't as exciting as the egg hunt, but maybe a close second!

4-Wheeler Nap

It's grass seed laying day and Elijah has been hard at work. JD called me out to snap this picture. The humorous thing is that he woke up when I was carrying him in the house and he asked for a tractor ride.


Now he's looking at this picture and asking to go "back, Dad-Da, back." I guess we are going to get some sun-screen and head back out.

Wide Open Spaces

JD has spent the last few beautiful days out in the future cow pasture. He has plowed and tilled and raked and smoothed, so now we can actually plant grass. We aren't the most successful grass-growers on the planet, so I really hope it takes. It also costs a fortune to plant this big of an area, so I really, really hope that it grows! All good farmer-daddies give tractor rides; here's Julia's turn.


Elijah basically bases the quality of his day on how much tractor time he gets.

From where I was standing in the field, here's the view to the road that runs along the side of our property - it's our "walking" road; thankfully there are only two cautious drivers that live off of it.

Here's the view to the right -

And the view to the left -

Here's a common site in our yard. Reagan, our dog, gathers them from the woods for us.

When Elijah is trapped inside, he makes do with his little tractor.

He discovered that his keys fit perfectly on the hole on the side. Now he "starts" the tractor before driving it around the kitchen.

Tomorrow we will be offering 4-wheeler rides while spreading grass seed. I'm so thankful for such perfect Easter weekend weather!