In the beginning, JD adamantly only wanted two children. I thought that four would be perfect. Once we caught God's vision of putting orphans into families, our plan was multiplied by God. We are currently blessed with 12 children; five biological, six adopted and one more waiting in Ethiopia. Our first adoption was from the U.S., the next three were from Liberia, West Africa, and our last two were from Ethiopia. We are supporting our 12th child in Ethiopia after her adoption could not pass court.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Adoption Things Too Good to not Share

Here's some definitions that I've thought about many times; it obviously just takes a PhD to put them so eloquently!

Natural child - any child who is not artificial.

Real parent - any parent who is not imaginary.

Your own child - any child who is not someone else's child.

Adopted child - a natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.

(Rita Laws, PhD)

This reminds me of an episode that I had at a photography studio shortly after bringing Ben and Julia home from Liberia. The photographer was very interested in our family, but was feeling a little too free to quiz us down in front of the children. Since Ben was hanging out with James, and obviously adopted, she pointed at James and asked, "is he your real son?" Both boys stopped and stared at my answer, so she definitely wasn't going to get the information that she was prying for. I answered, "they are all real; I don't have any imaginary children." She replied with, "you know what I mean." I corrected her that the term was biological, not real. I also told her that James was a chosen treasure, just like Ben. I hope it made her think.....

My two least favorite questions that I commonly get are: is he your real son and are they real siblings. I guess the word real should be avoided in adoption questions!


I know a lot of people struggling with adoption related behaviors in their children right now, just as I've had struggles lately with Julia. The following quote was a real (there's that word again, but in a better context) comfort to me. I took it from a blog, who took it from a blog, so I am just crediting the original blog.

"It isn't that the enemy is attacking you...it is that by helping the orphans we are going behind enemy lines...we are attacking the enemy and he is simply defending his territory. So, when things go wrong, just keep in mine, YOU are making a difference and are a threat to the enemy or he wouldn't feel the need to defend himself against you."



  1. I like the point about enemy attack. I just read this in a book, "Adoption is not charity...it's war". Precisely.

  2. Thank you for posting that quote. I so needed to hear it today!

  3. That sounds like an interesting book. Where can I find it (in Canada) and who is the author?
    BTW - great comments Jenny. We don't get quite the questions up here - Canadians are 'too polite' - they just stare! Some days I think I could handle the questions better than the staring :)