Natural child - any child who is not artificial.
Real parent - any parent who is not imaginary.
Your own child - any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted child - a natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.
(Rita Laws, PhD)
This reminds me of an episode that I had at a photography studio shortly after bringing Ben and Julia home from Liberia. The photographer was very interested in our family, but was feeling a little too free to quiz us down in front of the children. Since Ben was hanging out with James, and obviously adopted, she pointed at James and asked, "is he your real son?" Both boys stopped and stared at my answer, so she definitely wasn't going to get the information that she was prying for. I answered, "they are all real; I don't have any imaginary children." She replied with, "you know what I mean." I corrected her that the term was biological, not real. I also told her that James was a chosen treasure, just like Ben. I hope it made her think.....
My two least favorite questions that I commonly get are: is he your real son and are they real siblings. I guess the word real should be avoided in adoption questions!
I know a lot of people struggling with adoption related behaviors in their children right now, just as I've had struggles lately with Julia. The following quote was a real (there's that word again, but in a better context) comfort to me. I took it from a blog, who took it from a blog, so I am just crediting the original blog."It isn't that the enemy is attacking you...it is that by helping the orphans we are going behind enemy lines...we are attacking the enemy and he is simply defending his territory. So, when things go wrong, just keep in mine, YOU are making a difference and are a threat to the enemy or he wouldn't feel the need to defend himself against you."