Big Day Tomorrow

Tonight was fun, I had friends, kitchen toys to try out and yummy snacks. One of my friends booked a party for February, so I'll get a chance to try out more fun stuff. I haven't decided what I'm buying yet, but I'm liking the host discounts!

Tomorrow is a big, big day around here. We are attending the local Fall Festival Parade. It is truly not an event that is blog worthy, but the kids have been counting the days down since they get candy. What I'm excited about is what we have scheduled after the parade - two people coming to buy two farm items that we bought a few years back and haven't used. As long as they both come, I think they will after several email interchanges including price negotiations, we will pay off our last credit card. While that in and of itself is exciting, this is even bigger considering we had a ton of home-building supplies on credit cards. Originally, they were supposed to roll into our loan at closing, but since we have had closing issues, we were stuck with the bills. We started Financial Peace last October and I would have never, ever thought that we could have pulled this off in a year! This isn't the end; we still have other bills, including our adoption loans, but it's the way "bad" debt gone!

Since I keep posting picture-less posts, I'll take some exciting parade pictures for tomorrow. Almost mid-night, good-night.

We Are Not Doing This Again Tomorrow!

Alei has had a rough month! After getting cortisone shots in her back a few weeks ago, (they are working, praise the Lord!) she had to get her wisdom teeth out this morning. We decided that I would take her, and JD could go into the office for a few hours and then come home and work a few more hours while the kids debated politics, read literature and played classical music on their instruments. Just kidding! We were hoping the that boys could at least pull off their phonics and math while JD worked on his computer while supervising the little guys playing.

Alei's surgery went well, but she was pretty drugged and difficult to get to the car. I zipped right across the street to the CVS that I always use and waited and waited in line only to be told the computers were down and it would be at least an hours wait. I was a bit nervous leaving half-conscience Alei in the car. What if she came to and wandered into the road or something? So, I headed to Pharmacy #2, but no, they didn't have a tech working that day, so their wait would be at least an hour. So, we headed home to the horrible local pharmacy that I publicly complained about and they filled the prescriptions in 20 minutes. By this point, it had been three hours since Alei had been out of surgery and it was hurting pretty badly. Wouldn't it make more sense if they had given us these prescriptions before the surgery?

So, Alei is doing pretty well, considering. From the scene I walked into at 2:45, I could tell that my plan of telling Moriah and Alyssa to clean their rooms and bathrooms after school work wasn't the best idea, since JD had "real" work to accomplish while I was away! Elijah was still in his jammies and there was still breakfast cereals on the table. When I inquired about lunch, no on had any. There were two full dishwashers that needed to be unloaded and a sink waiting for one. There was a fine layer of stickiness of the table, I can't imagine from what.


I flew around all afternoon, just trying to recover the house that I had that morning. I still had to make a chicken food pick up, take the boys to soccer practice and shop for people food for a party and the weekend.

Now it's late and I have a busy day planned tomorrow, but I don't think I have to leave the house. I'm having a Pampered Chef Party here tomorrow night - won't that be fun? Friends, kitchen tools and good food; it sure beats the gauze and pills of today! Any readers that live near, you are invited.

Some of Us are Having Fun

I couldn't put off the fact that my little girls had no fall clothes in their drawers any longer; day after day, they ask me to go down to the storage room and find them some pants. So, today I finally swapped out their summer clothes for fall/winter clothes. As any mother of a large family can tell you, it's a lot of work! It has been far faster this year, thanks to my husband finishing the storage room; at least it's all organized and labeled well. Tori has about five new pairs of glitter jeans for this fall, in black, grey and a few shades of denim; they aren't even that cute, but they were $1.99 at The Children's Place so they are her winter staple! Julia has a bunch of clothes that Tori is constantly trying to claim, but they don't fit anymore!

Julia was really, really tough on Monday and Tuesday after I had left her for the weekend. I guess she feels she's punished me enough for leaving her because she has played nicely today. Here is the game they played for a long time while I sorted clothes (after I told them that if they dug in a rubber-maid container again, I'd ban them from their own room.) Elijah was their baby and they kept him in the bed by feeding him gold-fish crackers. I'm quite sure he was stuffed long before lunch time. I'm also not sure of the condition of the doll bed, but sometimes you just have to get a job done!

Next week I still have the middle boys and middle girls clothes to do. To tell you the truth, the girls are by far the hardest. They tend to have a big mound of clothes that they just can't wear for one petty reason or another. They usually stand there explaining how they have nothing to wear for the fall and I'm pointing at the big pile trying to remain calm. I guess that's why I do youngest to oldest, to work myself up in difficulty. It's nice that the little guys wear whatever I stick in their drawer!

Guess Where We Went and Other Happenings

We had a scheduled field-trip this morning to the Fire Station. I feel like I'm drowning in work at home right now, but didn't want to miss letting Elijah see these trucks up close and personal. We saw one at Wal-Mart a few weeks ago and he has been anxiously awaiting our trip "to the fire truck's house." He was too shy to get in the truck, but let Alyssa stand with him for a picture. See the book in Alyssa's hand? I brought her to help me and on the long hall-way into the fire station, she was walking and reading! I had to tell her to not read while we were there.

Currently Elijah is asleep with his new fire-hat, from the station, right next to him. I had to talk him into taking it off to lay down. He is also wearing red socks on his hands that we have to call gloves. Why? Because in an adult version of a tantrum last week, I packed up all the hats and gloves and put them in the storage room, due to the hours I was spending a day putting new ones on Elijah. He was constantly frustrated that his fingers didn't reach the end of the big kid gloves, whined and pulled them off, then he would bring me a new pair and we would repeat the entire scenario. Now he has made due with red socks and if anyone dares call them socks, he yells, "No, gloves!" Poor little guy, I think I may dig around and find him a little person pair, in spite of the fact that I find it difficult to get all the fingers in the correct spot several times a day!

After the fire-house, I was helping the girls clean their room. I came across these two dolls. It turns out that the boy has sharpie-shorts on from Alyssa years ago. She has always been super-modest and didn't appreciate the naked Ken look. The doll on the left has paint tape on her face, because Tori told me that Julia likes to play with her, but her face "freaks her out," so Tori covered her face so that they could both be happy. Julia then said, "I don't really like her anymore either," so she's in the thrift store bag now.

I'm fuming about something I read on another blog, but I will address it another day, (or not if I calm down and decide that I shouldn't.) In the meantime, we all have to head to "town" for a few appointments.

I'm Home

All day I've wanted to post, but I prioritized school and now I'm out of time. The problem is that I have so much swirling in my head that I'm not sure I can actually verbalize it yet. So much can happen in one weekend, both at home and away. My husband, somehow, did mine and his weekend work and still had time for deep reflection. I feel like we are at a cross-road in our lives, realizing the call that the Lord has placed on our lives. I think when we traveled to Liberia, a seed was planted that is just beginning to grow. Neither of us know what it will grow into, but as long as we are willing to grow and be pruned, the Lord can work with us. I hope we are allowed to catch a glimps at the upcoming Orphan Summit. Other than that, there are some exciting developments around here that I'm excited to share when the time comes!

Tomorrow is a crazy day, filled with appointments that logically should have been spread across three days, but I'm hoping for a chance to post a bit more.

Please take a few minutes and watch this clip from Francis Chan, author of Crazy Love. (You need to pause the music first at the bottom of the page.)

"Letter to Jen"

Jenny is on a weekend retreat with 80 other women from our church this weekend. I can't wait for her return to learn how God has moved in her life. With her gone there has been much Mr. Mom has had to do, but it has all gone well, so far. Not to take anything away from her, because she is definitely needed around here, but I think many are aware of the dynamic of how children act with only their Moms (which us husbands get to hear on the phone, or occassionally witness on video, as a result from a hidden camcorder), how children act when Mom and Dad are together with them, and how they act with just Dad. So, my morning started out early and very eventfully; I watched a movie at 6 AM. With so many movies titled “Letter to” something, and the impact of key movies in my life, it seemed fitting to title this blog “Letter to Jen.” This is a happy letter, so no worries.

"My Jen,
I’m sure that you remember the night we watched 'Snow Dogs,' at the base theater. As I was struggling to come to grips with all that God had placed on your heart and accepting that it was entirely the right thing to do, I sat there in this theater watching a Disney movie that most people would not view through a lens as an adoption story; however, God used that secular movie to pierce my heart and to not only accept that we were meant to adopt but that it was right to adopt black children. Sitting there, in tears, because Cuba Gooding’s character was adopted and I all of a sudden got it. God adopted us and we’re called to adopt, as well.

We had black and bi-racial children in our home as foster children, and I would have adopted any of them. But you were asking me to consciously, purposefully and prayerfully consider adopting children from Liberia, West Africa, and my mind got in the way. I let myself get wrapped around the axle and intellectualized the complications of raising black children in a white family and the impact it would have on their lives. Although I was not raised prejudiced against any ethnicity, I questioned whether we can ensure that they’ll be raised understanding their culture, who will they marry, will they be made fun of, will my biological children be made fun of, and on, and on, and on. This movie made me see clearly and God let me know it was the right thing to do.

When we went to Africa for Victoria, in 2006, I was all in it intellectually. In my mind, I knew it was the right thing to do. I listened to you about all of the statistics; even though at times you thought the words might not seep through they did penetrate. But, I did not have a heart attachment to the mission. I was hanging onto your shirt tail for the ride. Being there, experiencing the poverty, the hunger, gave me a connection to Liberia and Africa that I never imagined I would have. When we learned right there that Victoria had a brother, we both knew that we had to do something. It seemed right to take the leap to simply support him, make him eligible for adoption, and try to get him into the Orphanage, so that someone would adopt him. We did all that.

That wasn’t enough for me, he was little 'Tori’s' brother and he was too young to grow up in that war ravaged country, when we had the capacity to bring him home. God knew exactly what he was doing, he was peeling the layers of my stinky onion mind away one at a time, and because of the innate stubbornness I hold it has taken many years. I’m not even going into the layers that were peeled away to be open to a large family, accepting foster children in our home, adopting a foster child, fostering black children, etcetera, and etcetera. Simply put, if you had suggested siblings when we were going for Tori (and I knew that you were open to it) I am quite confident that I would have closed my mind to the whole thing. And the orphanage, they knew that Tori had a brother, but due to the health risk for the younger children there, they needed to get the young babies out fast, to save their own little lives. So they didn’t tell us about any siblings before we left, while we were there, not even when we were going to meet the birth mother. Had they done so, I am quite confident that I would have felt like I was being pushed into it and again likely closed my mind to the whole thing.

Then the trek for Tori’s brother Ben began, in late 2006. You were only comfortable providing support, and while I agreed for a short while, God assured me that he was meant to be part of our family. I began to urge you for what you once did so for me, we needed to adopt. You had made a monster, so to speak, and I became more decisive about these questions than you for a season. Even when you raised the notion of adopting one of eight babies that came into the orphanage at Christmas, while we were in the early stages of processing our adoption for Ben, you were shocked when I was open to it from the very mention of it, from you. I remembered the statistic that you shared with me before of a 25% infant mortality rate in Liberia, and I knew that we had room for one more. As it turned out we saved our daughter from a near certain death from Malaria and we both knew what we were doing was right.

Next we realized that we were pregnant with Elijah, and I had to convince you that you were in that way. I can remember just being completely at peace with the notion that we were about to have another child. You were kind of shocked that I was so calm. We both just laughed at the realization that we were pregnant again, nine years after our last, with number nine. Having nine children is a far cry from the two that I thought I only wanted when we married. In Elijah I can see more than anyone else how much I’ve changed and want to grow closer to God, with you and our family. I type now with him asleep on my shoulder after partially waking up from a nap. He is such my little buddy. I don’t love him more or less than any of our other children, but I do love the experience more. So much has changed inside of me and I just love being with the little guy.

So, here we are, seemingly stalled again in sharing the same vision regarding what our family is called to do. Do we adopt more children? Do we become missionaries? Do we just maintain status quo because we have 'done enough?' God’s answer to your fleecing prayer to Him last August has convinced me that we are not to be content with the latter plan. There is no doubt in my mind that we are to do more. But I’ve let my mind get in the way, again. I am intellectualizing having more children at my age, achieving a comfort zone for our latter years, you getting your way in dragging me to Africa to live, which may avoid the former while sealing the fate for the latter. Once again I have caught myself trying to map out my own plans instead of letting God’s Will unfold in our family’s lives.

This brings me to the 'Last Flight Out,' a movie that I stumbled upon at my workplace break room. The DVD case had a camouflaged cover and the words 'Operation Bless Our Troops.' Seemed innocuous enough, I pray for our troops every night, the inside cover shows a picture depicting adventure, possibly even some gun fire, etcetera; a man’s movie. The producing enterprise is Billy Graham Ministries. I think it will be good. I grabbed it and set it on my desk over a week ago, and don’t even mention it to you, all innocently enough. I bring it home the day you leave for a weekend women’s retreat, not even planning on seeing it this weekend. I wanted to watch the next Burn Notice episode with our daughter, but she had her friend over, which wasn’t originally planned either, and they cast me aside to do fun teen things. So, I wake up Saturday morning, make my coffee, and sit in to watch this movie.

Just as 'Snow Dogs' gripped me to realize adopting children from Africa was the right thing to do, the 'Last Flight Out' made me realize that I am not really trusting in God for our future; I’m trying to make it out for ourselves myself. Maybe a thousand people could watch this movie and not get the message God has given me, just as I was the only person in a military base theater balling at 'Snow Dogs' (and I did not use to even well up easily back then), I clearly realized that I’m not trusting Him as a Christian should. I don’t know what He has in store for us, but I want it, whatever it is. I’m going to endeavor to not let my intellect get in the way. I want to watch this movie again with you, even risking that it may not impact you the way it has me, because I’m thankful that God again peeled another stinky onion layer away. I hope that we’re getting close to a good center.

I will probably never know who it was that placed this movie in the break room. They were likely just clearing out their desk, since the movie was made in 2004, and could have just as easily pitched it as placed it where they did. Again, in a most unsuspecting way, I am leveled by the unexpected impact of a specific movie at exactly the right time. This movie, the 'Last Flight Out,' has moved me to prayer. I prayed this morning that God would tear away everything in me that would just want to 'hold on.' I want to let go. I want to see Him work in our lives. I want to be a vessel to bless orphans. I want to personally make a difference in their lives, not just sending money in some clean and innocuous way that satisfies an urge to act but stifles it with the status quo. I want to make it public. I don’t know how long it will take, but He does. I don’t know what He will have us do, but He does. I don’t know what resources it will take but He does. I want to live in the center of His will. I need you to be with me, I can’t do it alone and I don’t want to.

Love, JD"

For the record, "Scrooged," with Bill Murry, changed my life in 1989, and led me back to Jesus. I am quite sure that most people just laughed at it (and as a Chrisitan, I am not now recommending this movie, as I remember it when I was in the world and cannot attest to its cleanness). Although Jenny hasn't really liked my movie watching addiction through the years, and I've gotten much better, some have made a real difference in my life.

And men, it is very difficult for us whom God has designed as providers and protectors of our families to entertain the thought that just maybe our wives might have a better vision for our family than we do. I challenge you, to listen to them. I would not be where I am today if not for Jen. I know it, she doesn't believe me, but it is true.

Another Adventure with A Boy

I seem to have a lot of "adventures" (to put it kindly) with James and Ben that leave me shaking my head. I quietly often think, "I'm sure I'll laugh about this one day." Generally I'm not laughing at the moment, which is exactly why I blog about them - so I can remember to laugh one day!

This morning, the kids were out in the down-pour to do their chores; that's the rough part about farm animals, they require feeding no matter how bad the weather is. So, all the kids that needed to go out put on rain boots and a rain coat, except for James who headed out without either, then came back in to complain in the middle of his chores that he was wet. But that's not the adventure...

I happened to be at the front door, trying to talk Elijah into wearing his rain-boots instead of the black church shoes he was determined to wear out the door. (Guess who won? Some things aren't worth the fight and the shoes are almost dry on the edge of the bathtub!) Anyway, Elijah and I were at the door when Ben discovered a box turtle sitting in the drive-way. Everyone admired him for a minute, then I pointed to the area of trees near the drive-way and told them to put him there and finish their chores. So, about an hour later, Alyssa tells me that James took the turtle and put him in a box. I immediately call James who admits that he didn't want to let the turtle carry on a humane life, so he stuck him in a box and was planning on coming back to give him food, blah, blah, blah, but he forgot. Of course, I commenced with lecture #2,002 titled, "What Did I Tell You To Do AND What Did You Do." James is very familiar with the content of this lecture, so for the life of me, I can't figure out why he still requires it. Anyway, during the lecture, in walks Ben. Ben has this interesting ability of "handling" things without calling for assistance that would have the average child screaming for back-up. So, Ben calmly explains that the box that James decided to stow the turtle in was actually the treasure box from his birthday party and in that box were little, green army men. For some crazy reason, the turtle decided to eat one of the army men and had it lodged in it's little mouth. Ben was down-stairs, (that's right, until this part of the story I actually assumed that James kept the turtle box outside, but NO, it was in his room) so, Ben was trying to pry the turtle's mouth open to remove the army man. When he couldn't hold his grip on the army man, he used his teeth to pull it out of the turtle's mouth. Can anyone say SALMONELLA? So, mind you, Ben never called for any help, but he saved the turtle! The army man was in two pieces, and I'm not sure who's teeth did that, but the turtle was alive and well upon release.

So, one more day of raising boys!

Since I didn't think to take a picture of James and his turtle during my lecture, I'll post this one of Elijah doing Spanish with Moriah. He and Julia both enjoy doing French and Spanish with the girls, which I find amusing. And, just for clarification - yes, our office is generally this messy.

Tomorrow I am going on a women's retreat for the weekend; it's the first time I've left Elijah over night, but I have no dount that he'll be just fine.

Snap-shots

Here's some snap shots from yesterday and today.

The slobber patrol - Lincoln and Toby (as in Abraham Lincoln and Toby Mac if you were wondering; the perfect combination I think.)

Charlie (who's just Charlie if you ask me) with Julia and her friend, Rebecca.

At lunch I got out supplies to make mass grilled cheese sandwiches. I turned around to Elijah helping himself to a bite of cheese.

After lunch, Elijah wanted to play "Baby Li-li." The game consists of his sisters wrapping him in a blanket and carrying him around like a new-born. He generally likes to have a pacifier, but today it was missing. He plays nap in his crib and we all make a fuss about the "new baby." (We used to have a pink pacifier and he would specify playing baby boy or baby girl, but it's been missing even longer than the blue one.)

On Wednesdays, I make four trips to homeschool co-op classes; each trip is only about 10 minutes round trip thankfully. The last one, I sent James out with a bag of garbage and came home to Tori wearing this while she waited for him in the drizzle. Makes perfect sense to detach the hat to keep her head dry, but then tuck her arms in her shirt to keep warm.

Crazy kids.

It finally seems to be turning cooler; I'm actually going to dig some jeans out for Julia and Elijah to wear to church tonight.

Healing Begins

If you haven't heard the song "Healing Begins" by Tenth Avenue North, you can play it on the playlist at the bottom of my blog. Read these lyrics though -


So you thought you had to keep this up

All the work that you do

So we think that you're good

And we can't believe it's not enough

All the walls you've built up

Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down

There's freedom waiting in the sound

When you let your walls fall to the ground

We're here now
______

This is where the healing begins, oh

This is where the healing starts

When you come to where you're broken within

The light meets the dark

The light meets the dark

_____

Afraid to let your secrets out

Everything that you hide

Can come crashing through the door now

But too scared to face all your fear

So you hide but you find

That the shame won't disappear

_____


Sparks will fly as grace collides

With the dark inside of us

So please don't fight

This coming light

Let this blood come cover us

His blood can cover us

_____


Isn't this remarkably true about human nature? We juggle our lives, try to keep up with the Jones and appear we have it all together. The healing begins when we are broken and don't attempt to hide our imperfections.

James' Birthday

With James turning 10, our middle crew of kids are 9, 10, 11 and 12; this phenomenon only occurs one month each year. James joined our family at the age of 2 1/2; we became foster parents in 2002 and waited a full year before we were placed with James. We patiently waited for a boy, since Gabriel had frequent bouts of pity that he had three sisters and no brothers. It's funny looking back, but Gabriel never wanted to take family pictures because he was so out-numbered by girls. I think God used his desire to have a brother to push us in the direction that He wanted us to go. The only thing we knew about James before he arrived at our house was that he was two and needed a forever family. The days between the call and his arrival were full of "I wonders," we didn't even know if he was black, white or Hispanic!

James' story is one of excelling against all odds. The one thing I will share is that he had severe lead poisoning. At one point the doctor claimed he may never be able to run or climb ladders; that certainly has not been the case!

It has been several years since James had a party with friends at his house, so it was a great time for him. James is always grateful and thankful for what he receives, which is a character trait I love.

It was cool that Costco had a soccer cake, which matched the plates, cups and napkins that I bought, but forgot to get out. That's one of the good things about boys; they can have a great time with a patch of grass, a ball and each other!

Happy double digit birthday, James. We are blessed with you in our lives.


I think it's fitting that James came with the name James -

James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.