I remember a predominate thought I had as a child was that once I grew up, I'd have "it all" figured out. Man, I wish that were true. I really thought that adults knew what to do and how to do it, so life would be easy. So, the reality is that now that I'm "all grown up," I not only am unsure about decisions in my own life, I have a bunch of little people's lives that are altered with my decisions as well. I guess, now that I'm 40, it's finally sunk in that I'll never really have anything figured out and it's only by the grace of God that we do as well as we do muddling through life.
We've had some big decisions lately. The biggest is Gabriel's future. I am THRILLED to announce that he is going to spend next year in Colorado at a leadership and ministry internship. It has physical training, Bible training and leadership training while interning under pastors in the ministry. He will be afforded the opportunity to kayak and ski until his heart is content as well as serve on a spring-break trip to CA. We are convinced that this will help him grow spiritually, as well as prepare him for his career in the military (if he still chooses this route.) We all have a lot of peace with his final decision.
Another exciting breakthrough is that we secured the LAST spot for international adoptees at an attachment center a few hours away. We will be taking Julia on May 27th. It is going to be a long day, as Julia only has to be there for two hours, but JD and I are required to be there all day. At this point, my sister and at least one of my daughters will be accompanying us to care for Julia (and Elijah) while we are in and out of the evaluation. Once she has a "diagnosis," we will pursue an attachment therapist closer to home. Although her behavior is far from some that I read about, it has been difficult on all of us and I have great hopes at improving her happiness and the peace of our home by addressing the root of her behavior.
Since we leave for SC on Friday, I have only a few days left to deliberate on whether we are doing swim team this summer or not. Gabriel is going to swim, as it's his last year allowed to. If he weren't, it would be a no-brainer to take the summer off. Although it's crazy when the kids aren't begging to swim, I'm kind of pushing to do it with Gabriel this last year and take next summer off! Then I weigh Julia's behavior (which will hopefully be much better next summer.) Then I consider how nice it is to get everyone out of the house and have structure to our day. Then I consider chasing my almost two year old around the pool. Then I weigh the expense (which took a jump this year) and the reality that we are trying to recover from our renters that never paid. I then consider that I already have two of the swim-suits and they will probably be too small next year, on and on. I know it's silly and I'm probably putting way to much into this decision, but I wish God would but a flashing "yes" or "no" light out in the front yard for me! So, I'm praying about that still.
Since this is long enough, I'll save my kiwi story for tomorrow, but here are some pictures of James, Ben and Tori helping JD put dirt, and then mulch, in the future azala planting area. They are good little workers and have such a nice attitudes about helping!
Of course, all work comes to an abrupt halt when you spot a worm.